Leaving an abusive partner is a difficult and often dangerous decision. In the UK, there are specific laws, resources, and support systems designed to protect and assist victims of domestic abuse. Understanding your rights and the steps you can take is crucial in safely navigating this challenging process.
The decision to leave: facing your fears
Fear is a significant barrier for many victims when considering leaving an abusive relationship. Concerns about retaliation, losing children, homelessness, or financial instability are valid and can be overwhelming. However, understanding your legal rights and the support available can help manage these fears and give you the confidence to move forward.
Safety planning: protecting yourself
Before leaving, it’s vital to have a safety plan in place. This involves:
- Identifying a Safe Place: Know where you can go if you need to leave suddenly. This could be a friend’s or family member’s home, or a refuge. Women’s Aid and other charities operate confidential shelters across the UK.
- Gathering Essential Documents: Prepare a bag with important documents (ID, birth certificates, financial records), medications, some clothes, and any other essentials. Keep it in a safe place where your partner won’t find it.
- Setting Aside Money: If possible, discreetly save some money. This could be crucial in the immediate period after leaving.
- Keeping Communication Private: Use a safe phone or computer, ensuring your partner cannot track your communication or online activity. Private browsing and regularly clearing your history are advisable.
- Contacting Support Services: Organisations like Refuge and Victim Support can provide confidential advice and help you develop a safety plan tailored to your situation.
Legal protection: your rights under the law
The current legal system provides several protections for victims of domestic abuse. Understanding these options can empower you to leave safely.
- Non-Molestation Orders: This is a type of injunction that prevents your abuser from using or threatening violence against you, harassing you, or contacting you. If they breach this order, it is a criminal offence, and they can be arrested.
- Occupation Orders: This order regulates who can live in the family home. It can exclude the abuser from the home, even if they own it or have a right to live there.
- Domestic Violence Protection Notices and Orders (DVPN/DVPO): These are immediate protection measures that the police can issue. A DVPN can be issued on the spot, and a DVPO can last up to 28 days, giving you time to seek more permanent solutions.
- Clare’s Law: Also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, this allows you to ask the police if your partner has a history of domestic violence. This can be crucial information when deciding whether to leave.
Seeking support: you are not alone
Isolation is a common tactic used by abusers to control their victims. Reaching out to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional, can be the first step toward freedom. In the UK, several organizations offer confidential help:
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (run by Refuge)
- Women’s Aid: Offers local support and refuge services across the UK
- Victim Support: Provides emotional and practical help for victims of crime, including domestic abuse
These organisations can assist with everything from emergency accommodation to counselling and legal advice.
Leaving safely: the critical moment
Leaving is often the most dangerous time for victims. It’s crucial to have your safety plan ready and to act when it’s safe to do so. If you believe you’re in immediate danger, call 999. The police are trained to handle domestic violence situations and can provide immediate protection and support.
After leaving: legal and emotional recovery
After leaving, it’s important to continue protecting yourself and seeking the support you need. Legal measures like non-molestation orders and occupation orders can provide ongoing protection. Additionally, counselling services and support groups, such as those offered by Women’s Aid or The Freedom Programme, can help you heal from the trauma and begin rebuilding your life.
Protecting your children: custody and safety
If you have children, their safety is paramount. The courts prioritise the welfare of the child and can issue Child Arrangements Orders to protect them. These orders can dictate who the child lives with and how they spend time with both parents. If your partner poses a risk to your children, the court can limit or supervise their contact.
Leaving an abusive partner is a daunting task, but with the right knowledge, support, and legal protections, it is possible. Remember, you are not alone, and many organisations are ready to help you every step of the way. Your safety and well-being are the priority, and the legal system is designed to protect you and your rights.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, do not hesitate to seek help. You deserve to live a life free from fear and violence.
Please feel free to contact our friendly and professional Family team at 01245 228116, via email at familyenq@gepp.co.uk or by visiting our page.